Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Kosong + benda yang dah biasa aku hadapi

ahhh bersawang - bersawang.... tak sempat nak tulis pasal BBQ party kat umah.. tak sempat nak cerita pasal outing dengan kawan kawan.. just happy anak sedara lain nak balik... ramai ramai baru best...

semua benda dah tak terkejar..... so harini nak list pasal benda benda yang dah biasa aku hadapi

  1. kawan kawan salah faham dengan niat baik aku
  2. kena tipu dengan kawan kawan
  3. lelaki suka suka nak datang dan pergi dalam hidup aku
  4. kerja banyak tapi tak boleh focus akibat banyak sangat tanggung jawap pada keluarga dan lain lain
  5. masa tengah buat kek tiba tiba hilang focus maka jatuh (so tadi dah jatuhkan satu.. esok pagi baru buat balik.. nasib event tu esok petang....)
  6. rasa kosong akibat dari kelalaian diri sendiri terhadap tanggung jawap sebagai umat manuasia...
  7. gaji sentiasa habis sekelip mata akibat rasa tanggung jawap tinggi untuk bayar bill secepat mungkin....
  8. makan banyak banyak dan ditegur orang sebagai kuat makan
  9. gagal untuk diet akibat hasutan manusia di sekeliling
  10. kena marah dengan ibu sebab yang kecik je....
dah tak ada apa lagi nak list.... Selamat malam semua... dengan harapan deactivate FB dapat lebih focus pada twitter, foursquare dan blog... haha ... escape from 1 realm to feel homey in another realm... patting my back.. congrats alish hahahha (aku sengal)

Sunday, May 08, 2011

A little something when along the way

Wait for my next blogpost... (Finding free times)

The Last Episode : Farewell

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Lari.....

Rasa nak lari.... lari tanpa henti...... lari dari apa? aku pun tak tau...

bila sakit macam ni.... orang pertama yang aku ingat.... Arwah ayah aku....
Walid...
how can i be this way, making so many mistake thou he is not around...
goal aku tahun ni alhamdullilah, tercapai....
tak sangka rezeki aku bertahan disini...
tiada lain untuk ibu....
tak sangka aku jatuh cinta... dengan kerja aku...
lucu....
sem ni aku lebih baik mengatasi keadaan ...

tapi, persoalan aku...

macam mana nak dapat kasih yang tiada sempadan.... kenapa
aku rasa kasih walid jauh beza dari ibu.....
ye aku tau ibu sayang aku lebih dari segalanya.. dan aku di sini untuk ibu
tapi kenapa aku rasa dari setiap sudut kehilangan ayah aku....
kesilapankah? atau aku belum puas tunjukkankah?
atau sesalan yang tidak terhingga

lari .. dan terus belari.... aku cuma harap satu hari nanti ada kasih yang dapat tandingi kasih sayang yang walid beri pada aku...
kasih yang aku dapat rasa.... sayang yang aku dapat lihat dengan jelas
kasih sayang yang tiada mengharapkan balasan....

jahatkah aku untuk tidak terima kehilangan kasih sayang walid....
sayu rasa dihati....
hati tertutup untuk melihat kasih yang diberi...
aku redha... aku kata aku redha
.....
adakah ini alasan untuk membuat kesilapankah ?
atau alasan untuk melarikan diri dari ...
susah... payah... sedih...

entah... aku tak ada jawapan untuk itu....
benarkah tiada jawapan?
aku sahaja yang tahu... dan yang Esa
cuma Allah tempat aku bergantung...
mencari sebab. memohon kekuatan.....

bila demam je aku risau.... bila sakit je... aku makin rindu kat walid....
harini dah ambil satu set jawapan pelajar, lagi berapa hari ada satu set 20o pelajar lagi nak tanda....
belum mula dah sakit....

ditambah pula dengan ego tercalar

haih..... keh keh keh (operasi menghalau bermula)
menghalau perasaan pelik, menghalau ingatan pelik....

aku nak lari tanpa henti.... tapi siapa nak teman ibu kat sini ....
kalau aku boleh lari ... dah lama aku lari....

rindu adalah satu ungkapan yang aku tak boleh nak tafsirkan....
aku tau aku rindukan walid
tapi ada kekosongan di hati yang aku tak tau bagaimana aku harus atasi....

jujurkah aku?



I don't want you to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
You never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's alright
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Cause I did enough to show you that I
Was willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough
And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
Is it a waste of time?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
...What is it I've got to say...
So why are you running away?
...To make you admit you're afraid...
Why are you running away?

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

I live in my own little world. it's okay. they know me here

The Dinosaurs trip

so the plan was not really going on so well (basically it was my fault not to double confirm the bus schedule for double Decker tours.. end up spending time walking around which i like because i lose 1 kg to help me eat that much of nedeje and nyonya food, and lepaking at bistros)
..... there is a lot place we fail to drop in

but i get to test Eky's DSLR and i want to own a cams... nope... not DSLR .. just a camera (don't think i can afford DSLR thou). ahaks nice eh to have a camera ... damn pergi cuti no camera :(



and elect myself to be a model (sebenarnya because i don't have camera so i pose and ask people to snap my picture)



glad to have all of them here. and thanks for coming.... (shits my personality colors are still red...)

i end up buying nothing because my plan after hi-tea is back to jonker street to buy gifts but i lost my interest and once i reach sempadan johor-melaka... i regret my decision not to follow my initial plan staying another day alone in Malacca.

the food is superb.. i will form my owh kaki's to join me for one day trip to melaka. fuhh... sudden rush wanna visit penang too... just wish that i have a traveling partner... i like to drive alone... but once arrive... i need to have someone to share my experience with

dim sum yum yum(mana halal weih :( ... but the smell was so nice ...)

the peeps


The Video:
thanks to Aimin and am waiting for the second part :D


p.s : .... about the accident.... will not elaborate on it.... will get my car back soon... yey but... will have spot on it still... not going to spray it thou :D.... just glad that i will get it back soon... that's all.. am okay.. thanks for those who are concern about me... i still felt bad.... and i can't write the reason.... just that the only thing i disagree with all this is , how come i didn't do what i would normally do... "balai cerita"... no... i didn't manage to drag it (aimin tell me it is better that way so we still can enjoy the holiday... but all i think was my mum back at home and rui yik)... settled + thanks but still felt bad about it....... :(