Tuesday, April 26, 2011

SSC- Start Stop Continue


morning everyone... have a nice day and as promise am trying to ponder upon my SSC

Start:
  • Having fun more off hours instead of kerja and home
  • Reading up more - computer science stuff, mechanical stuff, self improvement
  • layout a new plan
  • listen more
  • removing friends that you feel most annoyed in FB list.. FB is just a social network... if you don't like to see those comment, advice or status than remove, so you can understand and learn them better without being prejudice over words
  • helping people who in need the most


Stop:
  • Being childish
  • Being judgmental (especially to people who try so hard to get attention and being snob or brag about everything.)
  • Advising (by using example, story)
  • making excuses to delay solving your emotional conflicts (loving the wrong person is not a reason).... try to accept people who are already there for you....
  • making more enemy or at least try not to make anymore
  • feeling hatred and betrayed by people around you (Especially new friends)
  • being easy to be taken advantage or mistook as
  • reading certain pelik stats and commenting it as if you pandai in that matters (contoh: ah kenapa berat badan naik ni-- haha ko pon sama je alish ..)
  • stocking up pantry and try to use the existing canned or bottle what ever
  • being so nice to teach/ answers students questions and assignment problems off hours...

Continue:
  • Helping around mom more
  • learning to improve you tutoring skills
  • isolating myself (not keeping but choosing to who an whom)
  • understand that people will not try to understand you
  • don't hope that others will mengalah for you or all the time fr you
  • Jogging at least once a month (ah malasnya need to be fit, need to be fit, berjalan pun tak mau =.="''' parking jauh sikit la macam biasa... dah semput)
  • try to be truthful to self and everyone
  • saving in ASB at-least 20 ringgit a month
should list more if it cross over my mind later. and re-evaluate, be more precise and realizing it.

++++++++++++Confuse +++++++++++++++++

  • stop/continue telling people i am gay / bisexual as a reason why i am not married
  • stop/continue hitting people for real when they make a mistake... sarah sila dengar cakap ti-ish pukol kang
  • stop/continue eating too much
  • stop/continue making my monthly budget... lari je debit and credit ni.. haih
  • stop/continue agreeing to go for shopping windows.... ko tu malas jalan...
  • stop/continue giving people weird nickname, jc, jb,jm

Monday, April 25, 2011

Light reading of the day

somewhat agreed by this article ...


(for some people: this is not for Christians only... we learn anywhere but learn to understand which one to pick.... )

  1. it is often our attitude when someone differs from us
  2. ‘The appeaser does more harm than the opposer.’
  3. The man who will not face problems is the church’s biggest enemy.
  4. I often pray for courage to be like the first man. I have no trouble at all being a ‘nice guy’, but nice guys don’t move men toward God. Nice guys don’t leave behind them a trail of men and women who testify to have seen and felt the power of another world because they saw a living example. No, nice guys leave behind a lot of people who gladly acknowledge, ‘He was a swell fellow.’ I think we should be so wedded to the truth of God’s Word that people will not remember our niceness but our God and truth. Let them even call us stubborn if they want to, but let us so cleave to the truth in doctrine and practice that they are forced to think about God and eternity.
nice set of example... am doing SSC (Start Stop Continue evaluation )soon... wait and i will show you how

SWOT: alish 1st term 2011 evaluation


Strength:
Firm decision
loving my current work
Truthful than previous years
Work XP
self discipline
Fit
not too old (yeah :P)
forgiving


Weakness:
Still a little pending -work, study matters
Busy Body/ Concern for a wrong reason
bad interpretation
bad influence
choosing companion
Internet
bad experience


Opportunity:
yoUTeeeM dk
yoUTeeHasheM
bukit


Threat:
Internet
Emotional
Health
Work Contract
Gossip
F...
myself?

tiba tiba malas nak truthful hahaha :P

anyway... the evaluation is just a draft.. i need to do it tonight... i already listen a few comment from others.. list it up few stuff and suggestion from friends, families, employers, personal evaluation is a must.... list more tonight but not herelah obviously
i just need to think through few more things: am so stubborn to change sometimes... but the bad thing was.... most of my friend thing that am too weak and should be more selfish.. so 1/3 friends might already hate me or my groove.. if i do that than tak sia sia lah i stray myself away from people these days... i know i been saying this for quite a few years.. that i wanted to be alone.... i still think there is time for something but most time it is just for family... and i do realize that am hurting people, provoking people sometimes, and with that i back myself up why i only turn up for few events only.... besides.. most of my friends were married... malas nak mingle sangat... segan bukan pasal tak kawin lagi.... am not jealous or what ever but i just refuse to answer alot of question..

and i do realize to .. for a woman of my age... am a little more than behind other people in Life, Love, Work, DLL... so SWOT and change for the better InsyaAllah

Friday, April 22, 2011

eh apa?


Semalam lepas lintas jalan, pastu dapat call .... tak ada tujuan lain ... yess aku kena nganjing.... ye ok saya punya kasut futsal tu kaler green florencent pastu dahlah for indoor sport .. saya bawak gi jejalan, panjat bukit dll yang penting tak ada satu pun activity futsal bersama kasut futsal tersebut... isk hodoh sangat ke? tak kan?

comelkan... ye aku tau ... aku suka sangat beli kasut lelaki... hampir beli maroon tapi sebab bayangkan diri pemain futsal tegar tempat gelap maka hijau.... lol... firstime ni de kasut nike... kalau tak adidas, converse, dan bayang bayang macbeth..... oklah nike 5 nama dia :D.... sebenarnya frust.... tak dapat beli converse kaler merah seperti yang di jangkakan bulan ni :( .... budget lari.. bayar segala bill rumah yg aku tak sengaja tertunggakkan bulan lepas.. cam ne leh salah tgk amount....

Thursday, April 21, 2011

serangan belog


okay.... untuk user yang dah terkena macam saya.. atau bakal terkena... saya punya kesilapan cuma sharing satu link tu je.. the post pun was back in 2008 ke 2007.... anyway


kan kalau pakai mozilla dia ada webpage kaler merah.. dia ada dua button... get me out of here atau... why was this page blocked.... so click la.. why this page blocked dan akan keluar page:
basically dia akan bg tau lah apa punca dia... just tetiba tengah rajin pulak nak divert aku nya focus dari kerja ni.. ok ok... nak focuslah ni.. haih

sebenarnya aku letak link yang de dalam video ni sebab suka sangat time tu....
rasanya sekarang boleh cache je blog post tu sebab dah delete kan

ni view untuk kerom:


kalau chrome kena click kat safe browsing diagnostic page

erk apa Machiavelli tu apa?

isk... laju gak korang ni... anyway..... baca ni http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machiavellianism

dipendekan maksud.. orang yang suka manipulasi orang lain untuk kepentingan diri sendiri.....

enough said... aku busy sebenarnya ni.... now... focus alish focus...

p.s aku tau ramai yang complain blog aku tak leh masuk sebab virus... aku busy nak gi tgk... tulis ni macam bitching je..... but ni boleh baca ni... thanks google buzz, google reader dan fbnote(dulu la suka pakai now dah berhentikan transfer dari blog...)....

fuhh just happy dapat keluar semalam dengan kam kuasa dua + ataris..... ngaa

Kawan dan kenalan: ada masanya

  • kat FTMM aku de kawan kerja macam zaini dan imran
  • kat FSKTM aku de dak dak SMC dengan PGR macam ham, aida sepet dengan zana
  • kat UTM aku de kawan yg cool gila macam Uyul, Jay, Cikin, dan geng kitaorang
  • kat UTM aku de geng celebrate bday lak, cam eppy, hafiz, didi, roy, rennis dan lain lain
  • kat FSKSM aku de kawan yang time kat fakulti je geng... macam Raja, Rozuan, Luq(walaupun sekarang consider rakan sekerja plak)
  • kat HSBC kawan aku wee meng, dan juliet... yg lain tak berapa ingat of coz sebab tak rapat
  • kat SAL aku ada intan, niza, rien, elise
  • lepas SAL aku de ishak, epy, man yg constant contact kat fb
  • kat convent aku ada fara, ayin and faiza yang aku still contact
obviously bila kita sebut nama.. means kita touching...orang kata kalau tulis buku kawan kawan saya mesti cerita diaorang yg panjang jela panjang..

but recently aku jumpa orang.. macam macam orang... semuanya buat aku menyesal dan bersyukur dalam masa yang sama

ada sorang ni amik kesempatan dari kebaikan orang lain dan kelemahan orang lain (dah lah menipu dari awal, kalau suka orang len buat lah cara suka orang len, pastu putuskan contact padahal dia yang sesungguh suh keep contact walau pe pun... ) ko ingat ko machiavelli ke apa... ko punya perasaan je nak kira... dah lah tipu aku, pastu aku dah mengalah untuk ko kot, pe lagi, pepun aku syukur tuhan tarik nikmat tu dari aku... ko tau napa aku nangis: sebab aku tau ko tu macam ni.... sekian terimas...

ada sorang ni... nak ajak kawin.. tapi ugut bunuh aku pe kes?

ada sorang ni drama je lebih.... aku kesian bukan pe... orang sekeliling dia kutuk dia habis habisan.. but aku as former kawan yang 24 jam mendengar...aku dah tak boleh nak habis bekup dah... walaupun dia pepura ok depan aku haritu but now obviously jgn harap la dia nak tegur ke apa..tapi aku tak kisah... cuma kesian... member aku yg len cakap.. apesal ko bekup? dia buat ko cam tu gak kan....(aku faham kenapa diorang cakap orang lain je kena mengalah dengan kawan aku yang sorang ni..... sebab aku ingat ingat balik zaman rapat dengan dia... memang salaha aku pun... kalau orang tak nak berubah.. bagi hint, pendapat dengan nasihat tu seperti mencurah air atas daun keladi yam ngaas)
but aku human aku pun ada silap aku sendiri... but day by day aku tgk makin teruk hatred orang pada dia , semua plastik bila berdepan dengan dia (entah haritu aku tgk status dia, dia pun tulis dia tak kisah pun benda cam ni...)..... aku punya telinga dan mata bedarah sebab yang respond dengan segala kata kata dia .. yg kaw kaw kutuk dia... macammana pun aku still letak dia pada category kawan.. but lesson learn: dah tau diam je buat tak tau... kang tak pasal pasal aku juga yg kena... since dia tak kisah.. patut ke aku kisah..

ada sorang mamat pekerja astro ni... haih kusut aku... aku tau dia dapat contact no aku sebab obviously yg file report kat astro tu muka aku. aku dah bg hint aku tebang pokok sebelah rumah... just nak bg tau aku dah tau yg haritu dia memang jatuh n pecahkan bumbung... kan senang terus terang... aku tengah tak ada sangat ni... nak panjat cam ne dah ibu asyik call air hujan masuk rumah... yg aku sakit hati.. nak kawan tapi menuduh aku macam pakwe... ehhhh sengal ok.. malas... aku tak suka orang yg firstday je dah menipu (UL ko tak de kena mengena .. aku dah maap kan sebab ko aku survive kat utm dulu.. thanks thanks thanks)... menuduh je kerja... kalau aku kaya masa kat utm dulu aku tak susahkan lah fadli ke, doria ke, rennis ke, atikah ke makan minum aku... tak de lah aku nangis kat bilik uyul sebab dia nak lanje aku makan.. atau dapat makan mak hafiz masak, atau aku nangis kat smc sebab aku bengang zana buat aku rasa macam pengemis.... kalau aku kaya aku tak kusut macam sekarang tiap kali gaji calculate gaji aku untuk rumah, bill dan lain lain... susah arwah walid dan ibu jadi penjaga kat sini... semua yg aku dengar buat aku sedih.. ibu walid kerja cam orang gila.. tapi semua ni bukan milik kami... dah satu lagi... hp aku ni sengal monyet.. nak beli baru ko ingat aku kaya ke... hp aku yg hantar betul macam tak de harapan nak dapat balik... so.. lantak lah nak cakap pe.... malas nak layan benda cam ni... macam aku tak cukup kusut menanda kertas lab segala.....

ada kawan yang satu ni perlu ke aku kata tu barang aku... sesuka nak pakai .. yg best secara senyap dan sulit... bila kantoi... ada dia kata .. eh.. aku ingatkan ko tak guna lagi....

okay sofar bagus lah tahun ni productive... de 5 je kenalan yang senget cam ni.... just aku tak ada perasaan pun nak marah ke apa ke.. sebab aku malas... orang macam ni buang karen je marah .... aku boring.. saje je drama lebih kat FB ... korang pun tau kan orang macam ni kalau kita tulis apa pun hati dia tuli... mana nak faham kias fansuri ni..... so... walaupun Defy kata aku lemah sebab aku suka mintak maaf kat orang macam ni... sebenarnya bila aku mintak maaf walaupun aku nampak muka ego diaorang bersinar sinar ingat aku menangkan... it is simply telling them: you know what.. i forgiven you and please moved on......

arwah ayah aku pesan: kawan berhati hati even matsaleh pun betray kawan dia gak... sesetengah japanese pun walaupun diaorang sangat terkenal dengan give and take dan courtesy.... cuba bayang kan orang kita yg tak terkenal dengan benda tu semua... so adik faham sendiri ok... human ni living in human nature... yes boss note taken....

arwah ayah aku pesan: redha dengan apa yang orang buat pada kita... ada baiknya... dan tak perlu balas sebab tu semua kerja tuhan...

defy cakap kat aku: hutang darah dibayar darah.... bila ada kesempatan sila pulang paku buah keras..... and maaf aku gaduh dengan dia lepas ayat dia ni sebab aku yang salah aku cakap orang kampung je musuh pasal benda kecik macam penipuan ni.....

defy pesan: tak payah ada kawan lagi baik

aku cakap: entah.... aku cuma doa.. Allah datangkan kebaikan untuk aku, rezeki, kawan, teman, sahabat, pasangan hidup dan lain lain... amin

aku cakap: aku tak suka tulis tak ada nama dekat tuan punya badan ni (walaupun tu dah kira mengaibkan orang)....lagipun biasanya orang lain yang terasa... huhu ... sesapa yang kena tempias tu... ehem sapa suh lu buat cam tu gak ... tak de keje eh....ngaaaa

Pesanan terakhir: sorry aku memang tak suka keluar rumah... membazir... duit tu banyak lagi guna untuk family aku dalam rumah ni.. kalau ko rasa tak masuk akal alasan aku ni.. gi kawan dengan orang kaya.. ko tgk.. makan minum kat mana, ajak je keluar...dll so..

maaflah... cari lah kawan lain selain aku... aku tak larat lah nak tampung emo semua orang... bila sampai kusut je... aku kena layan sorang sorang kat :



nota untuk shawal... walaupun aku rasa dia tak singgah pun sini... aku mimpi dia haritu.. but serious... banyak benda yang aku tak boleh coup.. tahun lepas .. tahun ni... terutama perasaan orang....


aku kurang faham bila aku cuba jalani hidup aku lepas aku sakitkan hati orang.. tak ada satu hari pun yang rasa senang... aku cemburu sebab orang kat atas ni... Allah kurniakan mereka kebaikan dan kebahagiaan dalam hidup... walaupun diaorang macam ni....

Ujian Allah pelbagai... mungkin ujian aku selalunya kena menghadap benda yang sama setiap tahun

aku mohon agar Allah kurniakan kawan kawan yang aku sebut satu persatu kat list atas sekali, rezeki yang melimpah ruah, kesihatan yang baik dan kebahagiaan yang sempurna sebab... aku banyak terhutang budi dengan diaorang..... amin

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Riak


aku rasa .... mak aku tak boleh bising selalu kata aku perangai macam budak lelaki....

buktinya sebab aku macam ni lah aku mampu panjat pokok kuini totally buang semua dahan yang kena rumah dan kuali astro.

dengan bergantung pada tangan kiri untuk berpaut pada satu dahan. badan leaning pada satu dahan dan kaki pijak pada satu dahan yang semuanya vertical tak ada yang horizontal aku berjaya gergaji pokok tersebut... haa.. baru boleh dapat better reception... dan monkey tak boleh main paut paut antara pokok dengan kuali astro yang menyebabkan bayaran alignment RM50 setiap kali mamat tu datang.... betul tak... hurm saje nak dapatkan orang backing theory riak aku ni.... cam ne pun yang paling sedih segala sedih dengan event ni.... bukan leh dapat triceps dan bicep akibat meng-swing gergaji tu kan :D... dah lah punya pandai kat umah ni ada gergaji besi jeh.... cam ne pun alhamdullilah.. tak sia sia masa kecik kecik dulu rajin panjat pokok :D


Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Baju dua ringgit?



So i manage to drop by batu pahat pasar karat... and bought 6 shirts... Nice... look new... really new... and i like them so much.... (okay bundle stuff is not your thing... but sometimes it is interesting.... and bought some for sarah (niece) as well.. (",)


He is lucky he is not my current student


isk suka sangat bodek bebudak zaman sekarang ni..

why people always drag me into such conversation....

kalau masih dalam kelas ada dapat markah -5 percuma =.="' haih

why i never kiss my lect arse lasttime?

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Worth

I love my kancil... i don't intend to buy a new car... that should be a lie.. but why should i ? my mum start to ask me to do so... and with my students driving expensive imported car..
it reminded me more on why and how i start to own my kancil... i love the small compact car which allowed me to use RON97 still.... i seldom pump in RON95... but that not just it...

since i start working, nothing come first but my mum.... the household add up a new account.... i just wont risk things so i can only satisfied me.... the bills these days just screaming to be payed ASAP.. well i always talk about money(and that is since i still back in yoUTeeeM)... i do jealous with my friend who hold mum's credit card, drive nice car, have less responsibility, back than but most of them married now... i mean maybe this is the reason why am i not married yet... or why i bare the consequence of staying in batu pahat... its all about ibu and family..... thats is much worth to be proud of i think... i am planing to further my study... but it just holding me up when i think about how would it be... i do start to think i shouldn't... hurm... am busy these 2 weeks... with finals is coming up, students presentation to evaluate... am just tired like hell...

am amazed with people who can travel away from home without thinking of such things like this.. because i cant.. i didn't make much monthly, but i love my job(Sort of), and i can't bare to see my mum work to hard at 67.... and she still think i can afford a lot of stuff which seriously i don't think i can or i should... although i am jealous and i wanted to have all those blings but i think i live a life that worth every second of it.

Well... for those who in despair out there..... Chill... Gambatte :D