minggunidahduacerita yang lebihkurangakudengar.... bercinta/bersamadah lama... datang yang barujadipenggantipadahal yang lama oktakadabuatkesilapancumasedikitkekurangandan the so called angel mengisiruangdanrupanya ... kebahagiaansementara....
"Ya Allah percepatkanlahdanpermudahkanlahjodohku ... yang terbaikuntukku... yang bolehmembimbingku, melindungikudanbahagiakanakusehinggaakhirhayatku"
which all this remind me of the movie devil ..... yup i know i am to influenced by TV and movie anyway... more like most of it make sense to my sense.... so when does devil come... when there is suicide.... and what comes next is.... DOUBT..... the devil make you believe on your doubt and trick you to believe on what you suppose to do next..... but as a slanderer it is normal for them to divert you away from the best things sets for your life..... and drag you closer to hell..... if you failed to be truthful and the devil wins the game. basically almost similar to relationship and other things in our life......
|A real man doesn't love a million girls,he loves one girl in million ways|
my brother tell me: never mix empathy and sympathy in a relationship... because receiving love and giving one is heavy enough.... this emptiness i felt was created by myself... i choose it to be that way.... Redha... redha... redha and pasrah.... i am trying very hard to redha with what ever happened in my life... I thank ALLAH for his kindness to lend me this feeling for me... i was happy this few month... that is all i am saying.. i am praying hard to keep it that way....
but lend also means that, whenever he decide to take back what HE gave you is oblivious.... i am trying to stay strong... I've made a promise not to cry... and i was deeply reminded by my brother about sympathy and empathy.
yesterday was not a great day.... so does the other day in this week...
i seek answers only from HIM...
we learn something everyday... and i learn that happiness is beyond our control..... we can plan 100bunch of things but realization is by ALLAH willing.
:D karma plays it parts for me.. i use to be the girl now i understand how to be in the others shoes.
_________________
你在我身边不再怕黑 ni zai wo shen bian bu zai pa hei Having me beside u, u r not afraid of the dark anymore
每个晚上睡的甜美 mei ge wan shang shui de tian mei you can sleep sweetly every night
多暧昧你却不是我的谁 duo nuan mei ni que bu shi wo de shui So warm, yet ignoring you are not my anybody/somebody
我在你面前变的谦卑 wo zai ni mian qian bian de qian bei In front of you, I become modest
不敢要求你的一点回馈 bu gan yao qiu ni de yi dian hui kui I don't have the courage to ask you for a little something in return
担心这种完美瞬间枯萎 dan xin zhe zhong wan mei shun jian ku wei Afraid that this kind of happiness will wither in an instance
我真的以为爱你双倍 wo zhen de yi wei ai ni shuang bei I really think, loving u is double
过去就会倒退 但它迟早都会一夜珍贵 guo qu jiu hui dao tui dan ta chi zao de hui yi ye zhen gui Over there I would have fallen back, but in the end love is still a night of precious
你的房间里残留他的气味 ni de fang jian li can liu ta de qi wei In ur room, remains his smell
所以忘却不干脆 shuo yi wang que bu gan cui So u can't simply forget him
我真的以为爱会双倍 wo zhen de yi wei ai hui shuang bei I really think, loving can be double
未来不管错对 wei lai bu guan cuo dui Don't care the future is right or wrong
但你说爱我却不够绝对 dan ni shuo ai wo que bu gou jue dui But you said loving me cannot be absolute enough
还会想见他 却还要我跟随 hai hui xiang jian ta que hai yao wo gen sui You still want to meet him, yet still want me to be with u
告诉我爱怎能这样的分配 gao su wo ai zen neng zhe yang de fen pei Tell me, how can love be that distributive
像断了线 消失人海里面 Xiang duan le xian xiao shi ren hai li mian Like a broken piece of string that has disappeared in a sea of people
我的眼终于失去 你的脸 Wo de yan zhong yu shi qu ni de lian My eyes have finally lost sight of your face
再等一会 奢望流星会出现 Zai deng yi hui she wang liu xing hui chu xian Just wait a while desperately waiting for a shooting star to appear
愿 如果真的实现 Yuan ru guo zhen de shi xian If wishes really do come true
爱能不能永远 Ai neng bu neng yong yuan Can love really be forever?
明天 或许来不及变 Ming tian huo xu lai bu ji bian Tomorrow's change may come too late
但曾经走过的昨天 越来越远 Dan ceng jing zou guo de zuo tian yue lai yue yuan But the memories of our shared history grows dimmer by the day
* 北极星的眼泪 说不出的想念 * bei ji xing de yan lei shuo bu chu de xiang nian * Tears from Polaris, thoughts that are unspoken
原来我们活在 两个世界 Yuan lai wo men huo zai liang ge shi jie For we live two separate worlds apart
北极星的眼泪 你哭红的双眼 Bei ji xing de yan lei ni ku hong de shuang yan Tears of Polaris, your eyes are red from crying
被淋湿的诺言 淹没在心里面 Bei ling shi de nuo yan yan mo zai xin li mian Drenched promises are submerged in my heart
我抬头看着 爱不见 Wo tai tou kan zhe ai bu jian I raise my head and find that the love has gone
再等一会 奢望流星会出现 Zai deng yi hui she wang liu xing hui chu xian Wait a while and a shooting star shall appear
愿 如果真的实现 Yuan ru guo zhen de shi xian If wishes really do come true
爱能不能永远 Ai neng bu neng yong yuan Can love really be forever?
明天 或许来不及变 Ming tian huo xu lai bu ji bian Tomorrow's change may come too late
但曾经走过的昨天 越来越远 Dan ceng jing zou guo de zuo tian yue lai yue yuan But the memories of our shared history grows dimmer by the day
Repeat *
当对的人 等不到对的时间 Dang dui de ren deng bu dao dui de shi jian With the right person yet cannot find the right time
就在放开手的瞬间 爱撕成两边 Jiu zai fang kai shou de shun jian, ai si cheng liang bian In the instant when our hands separate, the love that we share is torn in two
Repeat *
整个宇宙都 流眼泪 Zheng ge yu zhou dou liu yan lei The whole universe is shedding tears
wow can't believe all this test serve for me... more bad news by day.. the only good news I've heard so far is my nephew and niece PMR result.. Congrats to them..
i start to think that maybe the fate just not there for me yet.....
and the moment i said i am ready to make changes and decision in my life is the moment to realize that ... wait ...hold on.. yes... you see it.... no .. you do it again.... happiness is all i ask .... and able to support ibu is my priority.. i didn't ask much.. just a bliss and blessed from up above... yet 2 years has pass... and i am still here... being here.... standing here with no ability to jumpstart a new sets of confident.. i was drifted away by my narrow thoughts .... and a set of bad news everyday....
season to laugh.... the only thing that make me happy this pass 3 month even back-stabs me in my dream... to saw you.... to see that moment...was the hardest things in my life.. thou dreams is just a dreams.. and changes of the way you spoke to me fairly complicate things... i hope my mind was playing me... but my heart tells me i have no chance to even achieve all of my hope and dreams... not sure why am i laughing.. who am i fooling....? me? them? you? him? i am not sure... Christmas the season of joy... more like season of sorrow for me...... Thanksgiving and Christmas remind me of my dad... I misses him so much and all his joke... his call on the eve.... yelah raya mana nak buat macam tu.. because i was at home the whole time....
the first person come to my mind if am down with any type of sickness is my late dad... okay so label me manja or what ever you want but that's the truth.. most of the time he will be the one attended me and stay next to me.. so the time has come ... i just recover from fever 2 days ago and suddenly am sick again ah my migraine getting worst by day..... hopefully i recover soon.. normally this will last a month ++ and i dont think i can hang on with this... haih cepat cepat baik huhuhu... 100plus check, vit c check, an apple a day just a bullshit... recover soon alish .. gambatte....
owh tidakkkkk .. sapa suruh ED bubuh lagi ni kat FB dia.. semua salah hg na.... siap ar che mai pju5 hg lanja ....bengong sekarang aku lak sangkut.....
Harus bagaimana lagi Dan terus begini Dengarkan aku Lihat ke mataku
Cukup sudah kau menghukum Salahku tetap salahku Benarkan ku berbicara Agar bisa pulih semua
Namun harus sampai bila Kau kan diam seribu bahasa
Korus Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu Bagaimana ku nanti Bila tiada mengganti Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja
Saat mata terpejam Hanya kau ku terbayang Menghapus semua segala rasa di jiwaku
Saat mata terbuka Kamulah yang pertama Tak mampu aku
Bayangkan Hidup tanpa dirimu
Repeat Chorus
Aku memang bersalah Selalu saja mengabaikan mu Dan tapi dah ku sedari Segala perit kau lalui Ku terlupa kau terluka
Dan memang selalu Aku bersalah Selalu saja mengabaikan mu Meninggalkan mu Dan tetapi itulah aku sedari Segala perit yang kau lalui Kerna diriku yang terus hanyut
Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu Bagaimana ku nanti Bila tiada mengganti Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja
Bagaimana ku nanti Bila kau tak di sisi Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja
To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real. To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold, utopian dream. You do something to me that I can't explain. So would I be out of line if I said, I miss you. I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine. You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away. I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you. __________________ I need a vacay... and i miss him so much.... seriously am not sure anymore.... seriously i have enough trouble in my pocket.... seriously i hope... he will see through me... hopefully luck will be next to me.... my heart beating so fast.... i just want to wake up and reset everything in my head... keeping it positive... keep it cool.... keep my sanity with me.... urgh i hate myself for this....
Okay i admit whining is my nature.. but first of all i felt really agitated by this one 'friend' well , you just have to understand one thing.. ya okay, we good at being crazy the whole time.. but cant you notice? people stop sharing personal things with you? just because you tend to tell others about it.... okay so you said you don't care (like in those small notes for me) and you have tons of friend and what you did is when you with us... you start talking about others personal stuff ...where i suppose only your shrew know about it.... not us... but after few event where people are surprise to know that now everybody know about things that are suppose to be between the mates and... happen to be you are the only 'outsiders-not so thou'.... and obviously... we are human.... we suppose to say it was you besides can it be other coincident only when you are around things aren't secret anymore.... so you loud... and i don't hate you.... just that i trust people so much i just tell everything to everybody i trust..... and i talk too much especially wrong situation, occasion and timing.. so i decide each time i met somebody like you i just shut it... it is better for me to keep quiet ... if you miss understood me as i don't want to be your friend or i pushed you away its okay.... for me i will only be loud if the thing is not important and aren't personal with you.. other than that.. ehem... yup am a silent biatch ... so SORRY okay.. mistook me all you want...
---------------
okay so i tell Defy 1/4 of what do i think about our long distant and pretty confuse relationship... yup thanks to me! now it is more difficult than yesterday.... arghhh what have i done.... owh i shouldn't have .. dammit... huh pray harder, pray harder... Ya ALLAH give me light give me strength please please please.... tak puas pening kerja, relationship pun nak kusut gak.. dammit.. i think i am lucky that defy dont even bother to read my status update.. buzz or blogs... kalau tak mesti saat ni dah call .. tanya kenapa.. adeh.... never imagine it is this difficult to convey it.. haih... whatlah alish by this time kawan kawan ko sibuk dengan anak ko baru sibuk nak memilih ke.. yup i gave my self 5 more years to settle down.. lepas tu give up for real.. yup 5 years starting yesterday... 10muharram senang nak kira...
feeling like being stab for a second... realization is hurtful... i am okay.... i am okay... focus alish focus.... shits ... i hate my own reflection .... ugly... yup ugly bitch.... "hati kotor.... sangat" ... maybe i am negative.... but no i know myself better... it is my fault.... i've should have seen this coming...
hoh.. susah sangat ke nak bahagia ni.... after what i've been through... am not a selfish bitch.. or should i become one... huh pepagi dah kusut... routine vacumm rumah secara extreme pun tak boleh bantu.... haih pagi ni confuse gila...... gelak je.. psycho kot dah :D apa pun who ever read this > tu pun kalau ada.. wish for my happiness and luck ++++++ hoyes
so I am heartbroken when i can't be myself... i was heartbroken when i was ask to slim down... or wear make up or i need to wear something which I'm not...... it make me feels ugly all of sudden.... but if i say who am i saying NO to is rather harder than accepting the fact that i was not perfect enough.... i face a new sad chapter.. apparently my luck run out on me even for my job.... but i was heartbroken even more when Ibu reminded me to married somebody who willing to take care of me rather than marrying somebody who i loved....or get the job which require no certification.... it is hard to felt this way... it is hard to know you have so many option but you cant take it..... and those job offers .... batu pahat is no go for me... but i cant complain .... i choose to stay here because of Ibu.... and because i know her deeply... i have to let go most of the option i have.... well seems like running to prep for new job was hopeless.... it is official now it is not for me..... i badly want that job...i even ask help to proxy and finalize my application last month from an old friend to my lecturer.... haih what the.... la
but what am i feeling now are far more worst... it kinda funny thou.... i was strong enough not to cry before this but... recently even a single line burst me into tears..... hurm the pretenders chapter in my life left me into despair... i was lucky that i was given chance to be my self again... what more could i ask.... chances..... chances to be myself... chances to choose my future... chances to be with someone i love.... chances to get that job... chances to do more things in my life.. chances to travel.. chances to be happy with less needing to pleased everybody... chance to please myself.. chances... well that list aint gonna be short .... chances is all i'll ask.... would i have it? will i get it? soon i wish... but can i? or will i? zetsubou
well i have no more stuff to share just that... i wanted to share this 2 video of katy perry long time ago...
so 1st Thinking of you version is i think acceptable here in Malaysia .... but sorry you can just peek it.. i am not sure why this version is hardly available in youtube.. either it was cut of.. delayed
And this is the 2nd version- better ... okay ...i like this one better just because of the scene... when she wear white is when she is with the person she love and the black dress is vice verse... and when she hold the bloody knife symbolize how she back stab her lover..... hurm... she looks nice thou... just like her fireworks vids
The Lyrics
Comparisons are easily done Once you've had a taste of perfection Like an apple hanging from a tree I picked the ripest one I still got the seed
You said move on Where do I go I guess second best Is all I will know
Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you Thinking of you What you would do if You were the one Who was spending the night Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes
You're like an Indian summer In the middle of winter Like a hard candy With a surprise center How do I get better Once I've had the best You said there's Tons of fish in the water So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips I taste your mouth He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself
Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you Thinking of you What you would do if You were the one Who was spending the night Oh I wish that I Was looking into...
You're the best And yes I do regret How I could let myself Let you go Now the lesson's learned I touched it I was burned Oh I think you should know
Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you Thinking of you What you would do if You were the one Who was spending the night Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes Looking into your eyes Looking into your eyes Oh won't you walk through And bust in the door And take me away Oh no more mistakes Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
and some of the respond we can get from FB news feedsWell for me if you don't want to pay and or as the person up here don't want to contribute on next election than just don't break the laws and hello tons off public transportation or at least as a guy ... there is a motorcycle for you to ride and yup go around.... you can use car for family outing reason
at the same time cut your carbon footprint and hell yes.... these people are so funny i think i want to puke at...well for me am lucky am sticking with my kancil no matter what the others said... :D
i proudly kena tahan 2 times because of my speed limit is kmh 121 and when i was stopped to recieve the tickets... i said "okay samanlah"... because i know it is my fault and guess what both tickets is not in the system until now... 2 years checking for the ticket... it is just not there.... no need rasuah and yes no money for next election.... guess what there is tons of other taxes you have to pay as well... hurm kinda boring don't you think.. reading all this sort of things... i don't think i need to post few more example of this... just go to NTV7 and brag your ideology at "hak pengguna" that might have effect rather than fbpost :D
owh and i was lucky i don't use white sugar.... and i dislike to consume things that are to sweet..... besides do you know that white sugar is bleached(okay i might been exaggerated ...it is just sulfur dioxide bleaching).... i prefer brown and other type of sugar... better on the taste because of molasses flavor and healthier...
mmm am just bord so i commented this because i think that other people are too keen on politics and failed to really think on what we can contribute :D.. as i said i don't agree in all the price hike but... i think carbon footprint and health are far more important... maybe you can cut down some for your future :D
and later midnight more people fighting hahaha in fb
