Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Painful and i am sorry

Apesal aku sedih sangat ni..................



Firstly I am sorry Fiz ... sorry masa discussion tetiba marah.. you've shouldn't ask me about my work or personal stuff that much.. we were okay and doing our task as always with asking me about that.... yes i am ego.. i hate to be this down.. and i don't do much sharing.... i know I've said something bad ... compare our life... my fate are so different that yours... we were best friend.. and you own half of the thing i wish for.... and as a friend .. close friend i do wish i am as bright as you are .... i am as lucky as you are... job haunting me instead of vice verse.... i can travel around without worrying about my mum... or be as happy to have a companion... now i am 100% at lost... instead you offer me..... while i am having this heavy burden and bad news on my shoulder... my hope half way shattered....

Aku tau selalu korang nampak macam gurau.. but I'm sure you meant it...... aku terima je.... cuma kali ni aku tak boleh nak ok.... dulu kalau kena kutuk benda benda macam ni aku anggap kacang je.. sebab aku tak kisah... cuma minggu ni masalah aku banyak sangat... aku rasa aku tak boleh nak coupe dah.. bila orang tanya banyak ... bulls-eye pulak tu... mesti aku kecewa.. bukan aku tak nak amik cadangan ko tu cuma bagi aku masa untuk selesaikan yang lain ni satu satu.. tak tau sampai bila aku kena hadapi badnews almost every week. i am not sure where to start, what to do, even what to think.. yup that's more like it... empty .. blur and frustrating....

Ya Allah banyaknya dugaan kali ni rasa nak jerit nak nangis ... aku tak tau nak cakap dengan siapa... dengan ibu hurm dia lagi banyak problem... Defy ke... dia ada problem pasal trip dia besides i am not sure he would love to hear am talking while crying on phone (well i know people will say that itis not going to happen.. but hello kadang2 terjuga ok).... lemah sangat....... payah

Ilusi...aku .... .. hati aku tak banyak ada terasa sikit... aku malas dah nak tgk FB... fake fake fake fake... liars liars.. showy ... semua ada

lepas tu si azad siap kutuk aku pasal pakwe ni semua... ada yg kena sepak sampai london kalau aku nampak dia kat FTMM ni esok...siap suruh aku terjun sungai batu pahat..... dahlah aku tengah sedih sebab banyak masalah.. kalau aku buat sapa nak jaga mak aku.. bongek..

tambah si pengugut tu pulak sibuk ikut.. dah lah kata kat aku dengan guna perkataan
"perempuan macam awak ni..." sambung lah dengan ayat yang bunyi kasar banyak bukan sikit apa pulak yg aku perlu rasa pas ni... bagus lah.. apa dia nak .... i am not sure

once i tot that something will turn stunningly bright mesti ada je wanna put me down... okay you guys dont need to remind me how bad my life is... maybe people should start to take note... instead selalu puji aku happy go lucky and bagus ada masalah macam tak ada masalah mungkin minggu ni adalah waktu yang korang patut rasa ada masanya aku tak mungkin boleh coupe semua benda at once... and ada masa hati aku tak bergitu nak kering.....

I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)

No comments: