Sunday, June 14, 2009

Lost: All the love in the world

Receive a msg from a friend last night. boom and realize....... we gain, we hold on to and we lost something so pure and free in this world that we all acknowledge as love. it is either through body language or word it self. the more we unfold it the more terrified we become....

once my dad told me .... the person we love the most is the person who hurt us the most, because of love we easily forgive and forget.

i no longer understand my own marriage theory as i see more and more falling apart around me.
yet i still hold on to the word respect.

2009 has been really a test for me.... i really hope that the second half will be better.... more gain please!!!

my GAIN list
graduate ..... checked
work.............checked
JB(dream)...checked

my Lost List
work()..................checked
Love(DAD)..........checked
Love(Is)...............checked
Love(My Self).....checked
Master Degree....checked
Freedoms............checked
decision making...checked
respect and understanding...checked
JB(dream)...checked
time..............checked

yup there is more for lost actually but due to unforeseen circumstances i bare it and prefer not to put it up there..... i was lucky that i have religion that help me go through with this.... i was lucky that i was protected. i was so afraid after all things that happen around me crumble together with my faith. Yes i am lucky... but as i said there is few things i didn't list down and it is the heaviest so far.

someone close told me recently... if i need him, if i feel down, if i lost some where just look at the moon there will be a bright star next to it... just look at it... remember me and everything will be okay.. so i did try to look for it thou it is lame... i fail to get some sleep recently so i just wanted to try... i did go outside try to find the moon and the brightest star... but i can't find the star.... now it become a habit for me to go outside every night and try to find for it.... funnily i cant find it.... wow i know the star is there but this 3 weeks i can find it... so maybe i should stop......

how ever i wish for the best for my friend and her family. a friend and her husband. me and myself, my ex scandal and ex's haha....... may the force be with you

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